Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A Song of Gratitude

To listen to an audio recital of the poem, click here

Thank you, good friends, thank you
I’m honoured to be here
Offering my thank yous
as a boost to my career

I’d like to start by thanking
my agent and my wife
but alas my agent sacked me
and my wife – I mean my ex-wife…

I’d like to thank my lucky stars
(I’m not the sort for whining)
That my silver cloud is silver-lined
(Though there’s damage to the lining)

I’d like to thank my mum and dad
For the way that I’ve been risen
My mother for her English skills
(my dad is still in prison)

I’d like to thank my countrymen
for making me a patriot
and teaching me that love is always
relative to hatred

I’d like to thank my affluence
for arriving uninvited
but could I ask one favour more –
my lust’s still unrequited

I’d like to thank the gods for promising
the harmony of nations
and peace for all mankind and specially
endowing us with patience

I’d like to thank the management
the caterers and technicians
for making things seem squeaky-clean
like perfect politicians

I’d like to thank Columbus
for discovering the Bahamas
and Mahler for his symphonies
and Shakespeare for his dramas

I’d like to thank each one of you
for making a donation
Please write “D Prashker” on the cheque -
then “Charitable Foundation”

I’d like to thank the lady
in the third row, seat 4C
for generously offering
to come home tonight with me

I’d like to thank the hand of fate
for the portion I’ve been given
May all its fingers be cut off
its guilty soul be shriven

I’d like to thank the Royal Family
and work hard to preserve it
I’d like to thank them – honestly –
but the buggers don’t deserve it

I’d like to thank each one of you
for coming to this poem
I’d raise a glass or two with you
but I quaffed the jeroboam

And finally thank you to those folk
who invented thank you speeches
May your spirits live eternally
deep in the nether reaches

Thank you and good night

No comments:

Post a Comment